Sometimes, no matter how great the experience, how stunning the vista, how delicious the cuisine …
Sometimes, no matter how much your mind tells you to be grateful, to cherish each incredibly rich moment, to take it all in …
Sometimes it’s just hard!
Some days the gratitude doesn’t flow quite as easily, and the mashed potato is made with oil rather than butter.
Some days the ice-cream doesn’t taste like chocolate – her favourite flavour – it tastes like coffee, her least.
Some days you just miss what was.
Today is that day for my little girl.
She is an incredibly resilient child. She’s been travelling, and living with an enormous amount of change since she was in nappies. She’s happy in her own skin, quietly confident and it takes a lot to rattle her cage. But today she’s quite simply ‘HAD ENOUGH!’
She didn’t want to do the 8 form this morning – tears. At lunch-time, our fussiest eater, the one that was known to live on white rice and eggs for the first year of travel, didn’t want to try mashed potato – tears. Half an hour ago she didn’t want to play by her brothers rules – tears.
So, here I lie with her, holding her sweet, tiny little body tight. My own tears flow as I feel her breath and I wipe her tears from her perfect little cheeks. I whisper softly to her…
‘My beautiful girl, I know what you’re feeling, I feel your frustration, I see your resistance, I feel your sadness and all that you miss – I feel it my beautiful little girl because you are me and I am you.’
Yes, truth be told, I’m feeling a little sad too, a little bit overwhelmed, a little bit homesick – for where, I’m really not sure. I miss my family and my friends that are connected to my heart. Deni is my mirror, and I feel every bit what she is feeling.
Today is about downtime. It’s time for quiet, and gentleness and love.